I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Randomize
