Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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