I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize