Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
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Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
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This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I think my moral compass just broke
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