i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
if i died would you start the facebook group?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
