Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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