Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize