I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
