Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
