Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
