20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
