Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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