then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.