Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
