You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
