Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
