Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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