Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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