so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
