i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
