We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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