If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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