I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize