Already got asked if we're dating
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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