I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
