I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
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My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
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Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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