I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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