i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
i believe in u and ur pee
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