I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
