D3 body, D1 cock
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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