dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
A+ Viking dick
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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