He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
