Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I believe in your delicious
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I'm always down for nudity.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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