I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
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i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
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Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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