will power is for people who don't want to get laid
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
