Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
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