As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
