Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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