Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
