Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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