I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
