If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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