so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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