did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
