I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
This is my gift to your gina
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
