I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize