what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize