Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize