I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
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I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
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It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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