Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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