I'm lost and stupid without you.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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