The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
