Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
