we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Randomize
