12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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