Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
