Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
