Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
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Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
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Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
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