Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
