I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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