Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
if only i could text you this smell
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
