People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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